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Post by Neotelenta on Oct 22, 2023 3:47:08 GMT
Felix spends an extra 20-30 seconds looking at the dragonfly pictures, especially.
"Most of these are really nice. I like them." Felix says, nodding along as he progressed a slideshow of the pictures. When the tea is set in front of him, he blows on it a bit before taking a sip.
Felix is wordless as he pauses and then takes an even bigger sip. And then another sip. He lets out a sigh, and Raphael can see what appear to be...tears? Slightly welling in his eyes?
"Thank you. This is...this is actually really nice." Felix says, as his tears are revealed to be expressing a particular emotion. Joy.
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Post by Safy on Oct 22, 2023 4:11:42 GMT
Raphael’s eyes blinked a bit, as she lifted up her arms, waving her hands in front of her face, surprised by such a strong reaction, “I am glad you like it, I just uh, don’t think it’s that Stand out…. You could probably get something better from an uh actual tea shop.” She said sheepishly.
She scratched the back of her head, a usual nervous tick, “Honestly before I came on this show I never treated anyone to anything I’ve made before, still makes nervous a bit…. You must be used to it though, seeing how you became our resident chef….hahaha….”
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Post by Neotelenta on Oct 22, 2023 18:40:52 GMT
"Ah. No, no, that's not it...*ahem*" Felix says, wiping his eyes and clearing his throat. "Maybe my composure is just slipping. I guess it's been a while since someone...I dunno, made me something. That, and the tea is genuinely nice compared to the cheap stuff I've had. I should learn how to make this at some point..." Felix muses, giving Raphael a grateful smile.
The cat Felix called Mr. Whittaker jumps up on the table and tries sniffing the tea. "Hey! No, no. No learning today." Felix will gently try to move Mr. Whittaker, but he's a curious cat.
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Post by Safy on Oct 22, 2023 20:56:31 GMT
“Oh…. Well, I guess you do…. Well do a lot of work around here for the others, like cooking.” She seemed a bit embarrassed, “I hope that isn’t uh, putting too much pressure on you…. I’m always willing to help.” She picked up her cup again, trying to be careful with it. “If you want to learn I can show you how I make it next time.” She suggested, eagerly.
She observed the cat, mimicking pspspsps noises Dae had made before. “Between the horses and now the cats, I’m enjoying the animal company this show is giving us….” She reached out to pet the cat.
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Post by Neotelenta on Oct 22, 2023 23:33:36 GMT
"Ah, no...I mean, I was the one who put the pressure on myself. No-one asked me to do this. And yeah, you've been a great help. I guess it was the act of helping me specifically, as opposed to the entire group that got to me. But yeah, the next time you make tea for yourself, let me know. I'd love to learn and have some tea with you again." Felix leans back in his chair.
Mr. Whittaker chirps and turns his attention to Raphael, finally getting the pets it had wanted this whole time, but Felix was too busy being a dork to understand.
"Haha! Yeah, after Decker...well, got taken away, there wasn't much for one to do. That one stung more than the first time. The animals have been a real comfort." Felix nods, watching Raphael pet Mr. Whittaker.
"...Hey, this is a really bold question, and I'm already sorry for asking this on live TV, but...Do you have a significant other? Or a pending interest in someone who hasn't reciprocated yet?"
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Post by Safy on Oct 23, 2023 1:16:10 GMT
“Hahaha, yeah, okay I’ll let you know.” She brought a shaky hand up to her mouth as she sipped more of her tea.
“Decker….. yeah that….” She looked downcast, missing her friend already, “Honestly…. Even if he had done it purposely I don’t think I could’ve blamed him…. Hell, I think I might even had been too harsh on Hisoka before….” She bit her lip, “Knowing what’s at stake….hahaha, the more time that passes…the more I can feel it getting to me…. Well at least we have these cats for comfort…” She reached out to pet Mr. Whittaker. “I just don’t know how things have gotten this way….I know when we had spoken initially about how off this game had seem off but I couldn’t have expected it to get like this….hahahaha…”
She took a sip of her tea to calm her nerves before some going down the wrong pipe from her shock at such a surprising question she didn’t expect. Funny enough, outside of gagging a bit she didn’t cough. Though she’s been coughing a lot less in general since they’ve gotten here. “What…?! I mean….” She cleared her throat, “I can’t say I’ve even dated, I mean back at home…..” She suddenly glared at a camera, even more aggressively than usual.
“Well, no one back at my home town would even look at me…. Well at least without hatred.” She grabbed a bit of her own hair, “Definitely no significant other there…. Not that I need anything like that.” Her eye widened, “I can’t say though…. I don’t deal with those emotions that well….” She started gulping down her tea, “What about you? I mean, I remember seeing you talk to some of these cameras before like you were talking to someone back home….”
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Post by Neotelenta on Oct 23, 2023 1:56:12 GMT
Felix nods. "I didn't expect this, either. At most, I thought the game was rigged, or maybe the show was in debt to someone, but...Not with this kind of set-up." Felix agrees.
Felix looks a bit guilty as he witnesses the tea going down the wrong pipe before he relaxes again as Raphael recovers. "Huh. I'm sorry to hear that. I was asking, since you've mentioned your home town and people on a few occasions. I wondered if...well, if there was anyone you had back home that you could at least look forward to seeing again. I don't have a significant other, but even if I did, I wouldn't be very good at it. Or at least, that's what I've believed. I've been told by a few people that I set my own standards too high. And not like...the standards of what I want in the other person. I mean the standards of what I want in MYSELF. I'm too afraid of loving someone beyond friendship because I have no way of giving 110% of my time, energy, and effort to...anything." Felix rubs his forehead. "I care TOO much to take risks with people if I feel like I could reduce the risk by just being able to devote more of myself...Even if there's nothing left to give...Egh..." Felix takes another sip of tea before setting it down and exhaling, as if washing a taste out of his mouth.
"If you had a significant other, I would've asked you what it's like having one. I haven't been able to convince my brain out of this rut ever since I could think, honestly. So...Welcome to the dateless club." Felix chuckles and raises his cup of tea in a mock toast before taking another sip.
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Post by Safy on Oct 23, 2023 2:31:51 GMT
“Oh! That’s what you thought.” Raphael laughed, bitterly. “No, I have no one back home at all, much less romantically.” She gritted her teeth, “They all hate me in my home town, after the incident. Even though I was just a kid, once the rumor went around I started the fire, everyone just….. believed it. Probably because it was an answer…. My parents were actually very beloved in my town.” She suddenly rambled talking really fast, “I didn’t have any friends, my foster families never cared for me, I never got adopted and was dumped out of the system, even when I opened my own firm for my job no one would work with me so I worked alone. Hell most of my sole interactions were just through my work where people saw me as at the very least a reliable investigator. No one could deny me that.”
She sighed, un-gripping her cup. “Sorry…. But I just didn’t want you get the wrong idea. I have nothing to go back to there, but, I have every reason to go back. To get out of this place,” she said cryptically.
“Well,” she put her arm on the table and set her head on it, returning his mock toast. “All I can say is from what I can tell a relationship is suppose to be 50/50 so you probably shouldn’t put so much pressure on yourself….. Not that I can talk from any sort of experience. I barely talked to people in general after my parents died. The people on this show and the relationships I’ve had here? Probably the most genuine ones I’ve had in my life…and now I guess ever will have. Especially considering how fast my ‘friends’ dropped me.” She looked away as she took another sip.
“But, then, who were you talking to in the cameras? If you don’t mind me asking….. sorry if you do,” She said awkwardly.
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Post by Neotelenta on Oct 23, 2023 19:44:03 GMT
Felix listens somberly and as Raphael asks him about who he talked to in the cameras, he shifts slightly in his seat. "I can answer that question, but before I do, can...Can I give you a hug? Do you take hugs? I have a surplus of them right now." Felix asks with folded hands, his concerned tone very evident.
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Post by Safy on Oct 24, 2023 0:07:37 GMT
“Oh um,” She shuffled awkwardly, “I don’t mind if you want but, I don’t see why you’d be so concerned….” She shook her head. “It’s just…. How it is….part of it is on me for just not leaving, but I couldn’t….. I still need to figure out why that fire happened.”
Her expression became stressed as she put a hand to her head, “I had just wanted to come on this show for help getting those answers but it seems that was my mistake, I shouldn’t have let that ‘scout’ dupe me….”
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Post by Neotelenta on Oct 24, 2023 1:07:50 GMT
Felix is silent for a moment, but remains sitting. "...You've found friends here. You could've made much worse mistakes. But I hope you get your answers. And...speaking of answers..." Felix unfolds his hands.
"My family. My friends. That's who I was speaking to on the cameras. People I love that want me safe. That's all." Felix doesn't make eye contact with Raphael for a moment before looking at her again. "Speaking of love, I think Ava is interested in you. You should speak with her at some point."
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Post by Safy on Oct 24, 2023 2:16:58 GMT
“I hope so too…..” She muttered. “At this point my hopes are a bit low….”
“I see that makes sense,” She nodded, “unlike me I bet most people here actually have people to go back too….I mean, even Hisoka had someone…..” She muttered, recalling him talking about his brother. “Well, I hope you will get to see them again….” She looked downcast, before looking back up, a bit surprised, “You think so…?”
She looked off to the side, mumbling, “I am not sure about that, but we have been talking more again lately yes…..”
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Post by Neotelenta on Oct 24, 2023 2:25:02 GMT
Felix smiles. "Make your life bigger. Not that it's a new concept at this point, but I think you're doing great. And I think Ava would love to spend more time with you. You should hang out with her."
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Post by Safy on Oct 24, 2023 5:26:22 GMT
“Right….” Raphael agreed, “I do….appreciate your advice as always by the way…. After my parents died I never really had…. Anyone in my life that would be there to give me advice.” She admitted.
She finished up her tea and nodded, “I agree too, she was one of the first real friends I made here…. I do want to keep hanging out with her and talking to her.”
She frowned, “Though, I do want to ask…I mean you’re always giving me and probably others advice and helping us, using your points to get our group things like the walkie talkies, and always cooking for everyone. Isn’t it….a bit tiring at a point, to always be doing stuff like that? From what you were telling me before you seem to put a lot of pressure on yourself to provide for others…. It is a bit concerning….”
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Post by Neotelenta on Oct 24, 2023 14:57:07 GMT
Felix inhales deeply and exhales, genuinely considering the question. He looks upwards and rubs his chin. "Well...the thing is, outside of this place, I've already been in the practice of taking care of people. For my job, I fix computers and talk with people very often. Outside of work, I hang out with friends and often hear their struggles and worries. I have older relatives that I take care because I love them, and they need help every now and then."
He looks back to Raphael. "I don't know if helping others is the source of pressure. It's been a normal part of my life for so long that it's...natural. The unnatural and tiring part is the fact that this is a murder game. Rebecca was telling me recently that I'm too naive and trusting. That I'll end up getting killed for doing this." Felix shakes his head. "Screw that. If I'm going to die, I'd rather die fighting and being myself than being a selfish coward. that's how I still manage to get sleep at night. And if you can't get sleep, you can't do things at full proficiency. I can't afford to be tired." Felix says.
While Raphael can tell that Felix IS actually fatigued a little, the more he talks, the more it seems to fade. Like he's already re-energized just by this conversation.
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Post by Safy on Oct 26, 2023 1:56:16 GMT
Raphael rubbed her bagged eye while listening to him. “I see….I guess it is hard to understand for me, I always been a loner since my parents died and I never did anything for anyone - which I was fine with, none of them deserved anything from me. Actually, I know Rebecca is similar in that way too.” She shook her head, “From the outside looking in, it looks tiring to always be taking care of people. But, I can admire that about you, how willing you are to do so, so selflessly.”
She stayed quiet for a bit, before speaking up again, “I do, want to say, you should still always be sharp. While I believe she might be a bit harsh with her wording, and it may not come from a place of concern exactly, I don’t think it necessarily is wrong either. Though you are pretty good with people from what I can see, so I would just be aware of others intentions,” Her voice is full of genuine concern.
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Post by Neotelenta on Oct 26, 2023 15:59:19 GMT
Felix smiles sadly and seems to look down a bit at the table. "...Well, you're not wrong. I'll admit, after all of this time, the only two people that I'm worried about are Rebecca and Cole-Brandon. Rebecca is conniving and I still don't quite trust her, and Cole-Brandon seems slightly unpredictable. And...Well, no-one really knows where Anastasio went off to, and this 'Sly' character in the speaker seems strange." Felix looks back up at Raphael.
"If anyone here has had bad intentions, I'm not sensing any. If anything, our biggest worries have come from our methods, have they not? Sara died by accident. Decker was being reckless. Hell, Jackson died because of a bunch of pranks that led to Hisoka taking an opportunity too good to pass up. And even then, he just wanted out." Felix shakes his head.
"I know everyone wants out of here. And some people will be crippled by the debt. Or the boredom. But I'll stay sharp up until the point of treating people like animals or enemies. I want us to come out of this without having to develop an instinctual distrust of each other." Felix says this, desperation leaking through his tone.
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Post by Safy on Oct 27, 2023 1:20:49 GMT
“Well…. I have to agree with you on those fronts,” She admitted, “Rebecca did….incidentally start the two events that lead to the deaths…. Planning the party where Hisoka killed and buying the drugs that caused the accident…. I don’t expect her to have well expected those events to happen though, but she definitely has a habit of getting things in motion for better or for worse….” She shook her head, “and Cole-Brandon seems a bit…. Well quite a bit reckless…with some severe anger issues….”
She grabbed her hair and muttered, “I’m worried about Anastasio too and how the developments here keep getting weirder…. Just don’t discount people’s desperation….. I don’t think we need to go around being outright antagonist but even just keeping ourselves aware can help us not end up in any sort of bad situations….” She couldn’t shake her paranoia over more bad things happening, accidentally or not….
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Post by Neotelenta on Oct 27, 2023 15:21:02 GMT
Felix seems to be silent for a moment and then speaks up again. "Hey. Strange question, but are you afraid of death? Like...do you think there's anything beyond it?"
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Post by Safy on Oct 28, 2023 19:12:53 GMT
“…There is,” Raphael said plainly, being a devoted Catholic so her belief system in the afterlife is clear. “At least, I’ve always been told there is, growing up in the church. I think so too…. Can’t say I’m not afraid exactly though, but…..” She bit her lip, “Honestly, going into debt seems much scarier to me….. being locked up in a corporate prison and wasting my life away without actually living it there is a lot more depressing fate for me to envision….Erm, why?” She seemed concerned at the line of questioning.
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Post by Neotelenta on Oct 28, 2023 21:15:34 GMT
"Huh..." Felix says, looking up at the ceiling and smiling before looking back down to Raphael. "I guess I was wondering how deep your worries were. I really like your shirt. You're braver than I am." Felix says, gesturing to the shirt with the crucifix of Jesus Christ on it.
"I doubt there are many people in the audience that care about God, but I'd say God is exactly what we need in a situation like this one. Fight with what power and control we have, and pray that His plan involves us getting out of this mess for the better." Felix smiles sadly as he rests on his elbows.
"...Non-denominational." Felix gestures to himself with a thumb. "Didn't see much point in speaking of God up until this point. But your worries sounded intense. I think this is all one big test. There's a plan and reason behind everything that's happened so far. I'm sure of it." Felix seems to relax.
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Post by Safy on Oct 31, 2023 3:42:30 GMT
Raphael frowned, “Oh so that’s why you asked…..” She pulled awkwardly on her shirt, “….I was even named after an Archangel you know, Raphael…. It means ‘God heals’….. my religion honestly feels like the last connection I have to my parents……” She put her hands together in a praying motion and muttered.
“He was the only one who was ever there for me too….. after what happened…..everything does happen for a reason…..”
She spoke up again, visibly easing up, “He is with us, I know that….. I’m sure you’re right, there is a reason for everything….. right…..” She went to take out a cigarette, her hands still shaking but she seemed more relaxed…..kind of… “Other then Cole-Brandon, I’m never sure who to talk about this stuff with…. And he’s a bit….difficult to approach….. so thank you….”
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Post by Neotelenta on Oct 31, 2023 14:20:08 GMT
Felix smiles lightly and nods. "I didn't want to presume, but yeah, your name is pretty cool."
"I found this out recently, but prayer isn't a placebo. It's the actual solution. There's genuine scientifically-shown physiological benefits from it, so...Do with that info what you will. We should hang out every Sunday, though. I usually just quietly read by myself, but it would be nice to share questions and findings if you would be up for that." Felix offers.
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